When the doctor looked in my ear he discovered a whole spider family. A momma spider, a poppa spider, and ten million baby spiders. The doctor told me it was unethical to destroy a family, and that I would be a terrible man to ask. He also told me the spiders had eaten most of my brain anyway, and I was basically a walking corpse.
I went home, laid down on the couch, and waited to die. I left my will on the coffee table next to me, although I have nothing to give.
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